Legacy

The last Republican President with any sort of legacy – at least any positive one – was Reagan. And I’m really don’t know what it was supposed to be. I was born in ’87, so the only thing I got from Reagan was DARE, and I stopped paying attention to them when they said pot was a drug. (And, for the record: approximately 105,000 Americans die alcohol-related deaths each year; approximately 365,000 die from tobacco; approximately 0 die from marijuana.) I’ve heard from a lot of people who were alive when Reagan ruled that he was a good President – the Great Communicator – though I didn’t hear any of this until after he died, leading me to suspect such claims. But, hey, who knows? I don’t. It was a thousand-some-odd years ago. People read the accounts of Ronreaganus the Communicative on cuneiform tablets, from what I understand.


Any legacy left over from such golden years has left only a perverted shadow of itself on the floors of Congress. If Reagan knew where he was, he’d be rolling in his grave. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t know who the damn casket is because he has Alzheimer’s. And his brain has probably rotted, too.


So the last great Republican leader was a crazy former actor. Write that down, in case you forget.


Bush Sr. has Iran-Contra and the Gulf War, as well as a minor market crash -- and I think he threw up on an Asian guy. Dana Carvey’s George Bush has a better legacy than that.


Then the Golden Years. Those mythical Clinton years where everyone was so fat and content the biggest political upheaval in 8 years came because – gasp! – the President had an affair! Y’know. Just like every other President in the history of every country in any time period anywhere in the world. But this time, it was bad. Reagan came back from the grave (though he was still technically alive), threw Clinton aside with his Right Hand of Moral Values and places Dubya’ in office with his Left Hand of Senility.


Now, Bushbaby’s legacy. For the sake of illustration, I’ll put his entire legacy between the next set of brackets. [ ] See it? Look a little closer. No, there are no letters. What lies between those two brackets are the inaudible screams of my Founding Fathers. Not “our,” not “your,” but MY Founding Fathers. And this fucking prick – this idiot who’s done nothing and failed at every dream-job his father could get him (he owned a baseball team! A BASEBALL TEAM!) – has fucked over everything those great revolutionaries fought for. Over 26,000 American men and women died to create this country, and this ass has destroyed it all in less than one elected term.

I remember him talking about legacy, one upon a time. I remember how he said his legacy would be of bipartisanism, of peace, of prosperity. Where is this legacy, Mr. Bush? And you can’t blame the damn Democrats, you’ve turned them into pissing little lap-dogs. No, this is entirely on the ‘Pubs, and it’s entirely failure. One can only hope that Bush’s legacy, outside of offsetting years of surplus with years of deficit in the name of a balanced budget, will be years of Democratic rule.


And, to end this rant, I would like to say, on behalf of all non-Republicans out there: God Bless you, Mr. Foley. God bless you.