Same-Sex Marriage, part 2
I've handed out several pro-gay pamphlets to mixed reviews. Most people give a rude look and tell you to fuck off, but occasionally I'll meet some approval. The fatal flaw, though, was putting my email address on the back of them. I've gotten numerous emails condemning me to hell for being a non-bigot.
The science and marriage parts have been left alone by challengers, but I’ve been confronted time and again on the parts addressing God’s stance on homosexuality. I’ve seen the homophobic passages in both the Old and New Testaments (Paul wrote a few things about homosexuals, though nothing quite so damning as what’s in the Old Testament) so many times I could probably quote them from memory .I usually ignore the email, but I was doing a little reading the other day -- a magazine article about biblical customs and kosher law -- and was struck by the absolute hypocrisy in the arguments I had been sent or had read. Basically, these compassionate, oh-so nonjudgmental Christians were structuring their entire arguments around a few passages from a nearly 3,000 year old book while ignoring countless other divine mandates.
To silence the naysayers, and to hopefully stave off anymore email with links to God Hates Fags, let’s look at the passages Christians so often, and so conveniently, forget about.
Lev 7:23 “Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, Ye shall eat no manner of fat, of ox, or of sheep, or of goat.” -- You can’t eat animal fat. I know a lot of men who like to, when enjoying a nice, bloody (see next paragraph) steak, take the fat from said steak, roll it up in bread and eat it, dipping it in a pool of A1 Sauce.
Lev 7:26 “Moreover ye shall eat no manner of blood, [whether it be] of fowl or of beast, in any of your dwellings.” -- Meat must be drained of all blood before it can be eaten. Want to guess how many non-kosher butchers do this? None that I know of.
Lev 11:5 "And the coney, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he [is] unclean unto you. And the hare, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he [is] unclean unto you" -- A coney is a rabbit. I like this verse, as it’s scientifically inaccurate (though, of course, the bible is without mistake, so I must be interpreting this wrong) -- rabbits don’t chew cud. But, I digress. You can’t eat rabbits. Frodo and Sam? Filthy Sodomites they are, what with their coney stew.
Lev. 11:7, “And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you.” -- This is a wonderful little passage about pork. The average American eats nearly 50 pounds of pork a year -- amounting to some 16 billion pounds, nationally. That’s a whole lot of sinning.
Lev 11:10 “And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which [is] in the waters, they [shall be] an abomination unto you” -- God hates shrimp.
Lev. 19:23-25 "When you come into the land and plant all kinds of trees for food, then you shall count their fruit as forbidden; three years it shall be forbidden to you, it must not be eaten. And in the fourth year all their fruit shall be holy, an offering of praise to the LORD. But in the fifth year you may eat of their fruit, that they may yield more richly for you: I am the LORD your God.” -- If you plant a fruit tree, you can’t eat any of the fruit on it for five years. Until the fourth year, it’s an abomination to God. And until the fifth, it’s unclean to you. Think twice before you have another glass of orange juice; if those oranges come from a three year old tree, the Lord will spew you forth from his mouth. Or something to that effect.
Lev. 19:28 “You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh on account of the dead or tattoo any marks upon you: I am the Lord.” -- Tattoos and cutting are abominations to God. That rebel flag tattoo you got on your 18th birthday? God hates it.
Lev. 19:27 “You shall not round off the hair on your temples or mar the edges of your beard.” -- You can’t trim your beard. Why? I’m not really sure. But, beard trimming is an evil practice, surely spawned from the mind of Satan himself.
Deut. 14:21 “…Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother's milk.” -- For those that need translation, “don’t cook or eat meat with milk.” That cheeseburger you had for lunch? It’s an abomination to the God of Israel. If it was a bacon cheeseburger, I’d do some praying. That sausage gravy you had for breakfast? One way trip to hell. Now, if you were eating locust burgers or seafood gravy, don’t worry about this -- it’s okay to eat locusts and fish with milk.
And the list goes on and on. If these Christians, who so adamantly oppose not just same-sex marriage but homosexuality in general, were to take a moment to read any other passages from the Old Testament than the ones they’ve picked up on about homosexuality, they’d discover that they’re no better, and are, in fact, potentially worse than those they are persecuting.
And don’t get me started on the laws about slavery and women...
The science and marriage parts have been left alone by challengers, but I’ve been confronted time and again on the parts addressing God’s stance on homosexuality. I’ve seen the homophobic passages in both the Old and New Testaments (Paul wrote a few things about homosexuals, though nothing quite so damning as what’s in the Old Testament) so many times I could probably quote them from memory .I usually ignore the email, but I was doing a little reading the other day -- a magazine article about biblical customs and kosher law -- and was struck by the absolute hypocrisy in the arguments I had been sent or had read. Basically, these compassionate, oh-so nonjudgmental Christians were structuring their entire arguments around a few passages from a nearly 3,000 year old book while ignoring countless other divine mandates.
To silence the naysayers, and to hopefully stave off anymore email with links to God Hates Fags, let’s look at the passages Christians so often, and so conveniently, forget about.
Lev 7:23 “Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, Ye shall eat no manner of fat, of ox, or of sheep, or of goat.” -- You can’t eat animal fat. I know a lot of men who like to, when enjoying a nice, bloody (see next paragraph) steak, take the fat from said steak, roll it up in bread and eat it, dipping it in a pool of A1 Sauce.
Lev 7:26 “Moreover ye shall eat no manner of blood, [whether it be] of fowl or of beast, in any of your dwellings.” -- Meat must be drained of all blood before it can be eaten. Want to guess how many non-kosher butchers do this? None that I know of.
Lev 11:5 "And the coney, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he [is] unclean unto you. And the hare, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he [is] unclean unto you" -- A coney is a rabbit. I like this verse, as it’s scientifically inaccurate (though, of course, the bible is without mistake, so I must be interpreting this wrong) -- rabbits don’t chew cud. But, I digress. You can’t eat rabbits. Frodo and Sam? Filthy Sodomites they are, what with their coney stew.
Lev. 11:7, “And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you.” -- This is a wonderful little passage about pork. The average American eats nearly 50 pounds of pork a year -- amounting to some 16 billion pounds, nationally. That’s a whole lot of sinning.
Lev 11:10 “And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which [is] in the waters, they [shall be] an abomination unto you” -- God hates shrimp.
Lev. 19:23-25 "When you come into the land and plant all kinds of trees for food, then you shall count their fruit as forbidden; three years it shall be forbidden to you, it must not be eaten. And in the fourth year all their fruit shall be holy, an offering of praise to the LORD. But in the fifth year you may eat of their fruit, that they may yield more richly for you: I am the LORD your God.” -- If you plant a fruit tree, you can’t eat any of the fruit on it for five years. Until the fourth year, it’s an abomination to God. And until the fifth, it’s unclean to you. Think twice before you have another glass of orange juice; if those oranges come from a three year old tree, the Lord will spew you forth from his mouth. Or something to that effect.
Lev. 19:28 “You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh on account of the dead or tattoo any marks upon you: I am the Lord.” -- Tattoos and cutting are abominations to God. That rebel flag tattoo you got on your 18th birthday? God hates it.
Lev. 19:27 “You shall not round off the hair on your temples or mar the edges of your beard.” -- You can’t trim your beard. Why? I’m not really sure. But, beard trimming is an evil practice, surely spawned from the mind of Satan himself.
Deut. 14:21 “…Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother's milk.” -- For those that need translation, “don’t cook or eat meat with milk.” That cheeseburger you had for lunch? It’s an abomination to the God of Israel. If it was a bacon cheeseburger, I’d do some praying. That sausage gravy you had for breakfast? One way trip to hell. Now, if you were eating locust burgers or seafood gravy, don’t worry about this -- it’s okay to eat locusts and fish with milk.
And the list goes on and on. If these Christians, who so adamantly oppose not just same-sex marriage but homosexuality in general, were to take a moment to read any other passages from the Old Testament than the ones they’ve picked up on about homosexuality, they’d discover that they’re no better, and are, in fact, potentially worse than those they are persecuting.
And don’t get me started on the laws about slavery and women...
posted by Damion at 11/26/2004 12:32:00 AM
1 Comments:
Not to mention the fact that Christians will say they no longer have to eat Kosher, keep beards and cover their heads because that was part of the old law in the old testament, and that the new testament is what is law. As it turns out, the passages that they use to demonify homosexuality are in the old testament. Someone wants to have that cake and eat it too.
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